Help MEEEEE

So, I'm cleaning my kitchen (yes, at 9 on a friday) and I end up spraying a little (read: a lot) Hot Shot Kitchen Bug Spray of Death because somehow I've got some little fruit flies that like to congregate in my kitchen (and no, I dont have any bowls of fruit out in the open. Have you seen me? Do I look like I eat healthy? The closest I've come to fruit lately is a margarita).

So, the thing I love about this spray is that if I spray up at the light, about 15 minutes later, the little flys fall to earth slowly, sorta drifting like a leaf. And its kinda cool to watch.

But, apparently I also killed the King of the Flies (not to be confused with the Lord of the Flies who is not to be confused with the Lord of the Dance) because just now, I heard this loud hum/buzz, key of D if my hearing is correct.

And when I say "loud" I mean "is a plane landing in my kitchen?"

So, I slowly walked into my kitchen, fearful that the raccoon from last night has decided to disguise itself and lure me to my death by making me think it was a fly. The humming was coming from around the area of my microwave.

Apparently, the King was sorta half dead and stuck in the plastic produce bag that was on top of my microwave.

Problem is, although the bag was vibrating when I touched it, and the hum was loudest when i put my ear next to it, I could see no crown adorned fly. In fact, no regular fly.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I put the bag in the trashcan in the pantry. Not so much to help it to its death but just because Trading Spaces was about to come on and you know how much momma doesnt like it when you disturb her programs.

I hope to shit I didnt just throw away Jeff Goldblum ¶ 9:23 AM


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