Thursday, June 30, 2005
Happy Birthday America--KABOOM!
I am not a BAD person. I don't break the law too often (although, I haven't had my car inspected and it was due last November). I will err on the side of care and legality 9 times out of 10.
Is it because I have this great moral calling?
No, its just because I don't like paying tickets and I like sitting in jail even less. Trust me. It's not as glamourous as it is in the movies.
So, when I drove up to the American Fireworks stand just off Anderson Mill Road this afternoon, I had full intention of getting some sparklers and whatnot since those were the type of "fireworks" that are legal in the city of Austin.
But when you are standing in front of that huge white stand, something else takes over.
I bravely asked for 6 boxes of multi colored sparklers and some of those things that stay on the ground and make noise and spark and shit (Seriously, that is what it said on the box) and no no no, I can't buy roman candles.
"BUY MEEEE!! People won't love you if they come to your 4th of july party and you don't have roman candles!!!" they taunted.
So I leaned in and said "uhh..and....a pack of those roman candles" in that tone normally reserved for teenage boys buying condoms.
And I paid and ran back to my car, convinced Johnny Law was hiding behind the tree waiting to find out just exactly where I and my city illegal fireworks were going in my car with an expired sticker.
But no sirens. No cop. Just me, and my lame pyrotechnics. If you're reading this and are looking for something to do Monday, wanna come to a party and light some stuff on fire? I'll even let you split the cost of the ticket I may get with me.
I am not a BAD person. I don't break the law too often (although, I haven't had my car inspected and it was due last November). I will err on the side of care and legality 9 times out of 10.
Is it because I have this great moral calling?
No, its just because I don't like paying tickets and I like sitting in jail even less. Trust me. It's not as glamourous as it is in the movies.
So, when I drove up to the American Fireworks stand just off Anderson Mill Road this afternoon, I had full intention of getting some sparklers and whatnot since those were the type of "fireworks" that are legal in the city of Austin.
But when you are standing in front of that huge white stand, something else takes over.
I bravely asked for 6 boxes of multi colored sparklers and some of those things that stay on the ground and make noise and spark and shit (Seriously, that is what it said on the box) and no no no, I can't buy roman candles.
"BUY MEEEE!! People won't love you if they come to your 4th of july party and you don't have roman candles!!!" they taunted.
So I leaned in and said "uhh..and....a pack of those roman candles" in that tone normally reserved for teenage boys buying condoms.
And I paid and ran back to my car, convinced Johnny Law was hiding behind the tree waiting to find out just exactly where I and my city illegal fireworks were going in my car with an expired sticker.
But no sirens. No cop. Just me, and my lame pyrotechnics. If you're reading this and are looking for something to do Monday, wanna come to a party and light some stuff on fire? I'll even let you split the cost of the ticket I may get with me.
Comments:
once I gave a bunch of pretty fireworks to a girl in my dorm for Independence Day. I am a secret pyro. It runs in the family; my brother set the house on fire once. He didn't build the correct earthworks.
Anyhow, she saw them and a horrified smile calcified on her face. Later I found out her brother blew his hand off playing with the devil's powder.
Anyhow, she saw them and a horrified smile calcified on her face. Later I found out her brother blew his hand off playing with the devil's powder.
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posted by 
:
7:46 PM
:
7:46 PM
One year, some time ago, APD had an unmarked cop car at the firework stand watching purchases and taking lisence plate numbers. A regular unit would bust the buyers as they crossed the line into Austin.
Post a Comment
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posted by :
11:06 PM
:
11:06 PM
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